I am not fast

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My preferred use of down time.

I am not a natural athlete.  This is something of a disappointment to my family, all of whom play volleyball (except my grandfather who was such a great basketball player that the navy shipped him from base to base to play games to increase morale).  I flinch when there’s a ball headed at my face, run like a turtle in molasses, and have a defective knee that protests when I try to do things like squats.  My favorite pastime is sitting somewhere comfy, reading, and snacking on something tasty.  When my friends invite me to do things like, “Let’s run this exhilarating 5k!” or “Want to go camping this weekend?” I have to choke back hysterical laughter.

Despite my complete lack of initiative re: exercise, I can appreciate it in others.  That’s why, next weekend, I’ll be getting up before the sun, dragging my lazy butt into town, and watching thousands of people leaping into the pre-dawn waves like insomniac fish.  That’s right, it’s time for the Ironman World Championship.

For those of you who don’t know, the Ironman is a gigantic triathlon that began right here in Hawaii.  That’s right- the granddaddy of all crazy triathlons is hosted right here in my town.

It basically shuts down our entire half the island for the day.  The triathletes jump into the water by the pier, swim 2.4 miles in the ocean, jump out and bike 112 miles up the coast (completely shutting down the highway, incidentally), then come back into town and run a full 26.2 mile marathon up and down the coast.  This take literally all day, with the stragglers coming in at the midnight cutoff.

Throughout the year, if you live here on the island, you’ll see the triathletes keeping up their training, jogging miles away from civilization or biking the highway, but this is The Big One, for which people fly in from all over the world.

I, naturally, will not be competing, because I am not crazy.  Biking the 2.5 miles to groceries every week wipes me out.  I am, however, really looking forward to watching these determined sportsers doing their thing.

Kevin and I will be getting up at about 5 to bike into town to watch the start of the… race? When everyone jumps into the water.  Our downstairs neighbor says it’s like a fish drive.  Then we’re going to get breakfast at a restaurant that overlooks the sea to relaxedly eat the best waffles in town whilst watching them swim their hearts out.  After that we’re going to leisurely bike home to watch the bikers go past.  Then maybe we’ll go back into town a few hours later to watch the runners come in, triumphantly close to collapse.

Should be a good time.

Do any of you engage in athletic things?  Running seems to be very popular these days.  If you’re lazy like me, how do you keep fit?  (I lift weights 3 times a week so I can punch imaginary bad guys and send them flying into walls.)  Know of any other extreme/obscure methods of athleticism?  Let me know!

P.S.  My manuscript is at 56,446!

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